Perversion
by The Unknown Peace
Summary: Fate can be lazy and boring at times. But, with a certain blond pervert child, amusement is never missing. And with red clouds and certain beings desiring for peace in the mix, fate could very well add a certain goddess in this amusing tale as well.


_**A/N:**_ _Hello there! Long time no see! Sorry for the lack of updates or anything alike. It's just that I've been very, but_ _ **very**_ _busy working on my new job as a deliveryman for a candy company!_

Ah ~ I love candies! ~

Anyways…This is an idea I came up with – or more like, a friend of mine suggested it. Is purely comedy and things that could be considered insane for the _**purer**_ _ones._

* * *

 _ **Warning:**_ _Like I stated earlier, this is a comedy and parody fic. There will be mild-sexual theme (but not enough to get a boner…I hope). Depending on how_ _ **many**_ _favorites/followers this story gains, I may add more chapters.  
_

 _Anyhow, you've been all warn!_

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own Naruto or any of it's content.  
_

* * *

 _ **Prologue  
The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship!**_

* * *

Madara Uchiha, aka Obito had expected many things from the renown, Yondaime Hokage; Minato Namikaze. A battle? Yes. Witnessing his prowess under the sheets?

No…not at all.

"Yes! Fuck me harder!".

Obito Uchiha for once, was grateful to be wearing a mask. Because he was pretty sure, that a blush had spread across his entire face. He was probably witnessing one, if not, the most embarrassing – and at the same time, luckiest scene of his young and pitiful life.

"Oh fuck! It's been too long since I've been fucked by this cock!".

" _How embarrassing…"._

* giggles *

Shifting his gaze downward, upon the small bundle of joy, Obito couldn't help but to say, "I hate you. If it wasn't because I need you as leverage, I would've killed you long ago".

A small silence reigned within the room – if you didn't count the screaming redhead and the grunting blond shinobi in the background.

Then it came…

* giggles *

 _'Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, just you wait! I'm going to make sure, that you're forced to witness this scene over and over again, for the rest of your pathetic life!'._

And as if young Naruto could read his mind, multiple giggles were said in response – not given a shit of what the man thought.

"Shit! You're pounding my womb!".

Why did Kushina had to be so loud? Leaning against the wall, he sighed as neither had the blond _,_ or the redhead, detected his presence – and he wasn't even masking his own chakra to begin with!

 _'I bet that Madara didn't had to deal with this shit! This is simply ridiculous! Who, in their right mind fucks a woman, who gave birth just recently?!'._

"Yes! Faster! Don't stop! More!".

Awkwardly, Obito was basically _forced_ to watch his former sensei, fuck his wife into an orgasmic coma – if the tongue rolling out of her mouth was any indication.

"Shit! I'm going to cum again!".

"Me too!".

And for the first time since Obito arrived, the couple shouted in ecstasy as their respective orgasm sent both of them into oblivion. Narrowing his visible crimson eye, Obito tooked the scream as his cue, however…

"Again! Let's go at it one more time! I've been anxious for your cock for far too long!". Before the blond could say a word, he was tackled to the ground and chained by his ankles and wrist – courtesy of the now bouncing redhead.

Obito could only watch the whole scene in disbelief as his visible eye, was shamelessly memorizing Kushina's big breast bounce up and down, up and down – a scene he would never forget and would served as his main fantasy of many orgasm in the near future.

"Oh ~ Your cock is so good ~ Harder! Faster!".

* giggles *

Releasing a heavy sigh, Obito finally gave up and disappeared in a swirl-like void, originated from his right eye. The bundle of joy, known as Naruto Namikaze, simple giggled as his small body was being sucked within the the black void as well.

"Don't mind us. We'll come back later".

As the void disappear from view, Kushina suddenly stopped with her bouncing as she said, "Huh? Did you hear something?". Looking around the room, she could only see patches of darkness around the corners and a few torches illuminating the dim room.

"I didn't hear anything. But what I should be hearing, is a screaming redhead. Maybe you could help me, with that?". Asked the blond Kage, with a smirk adorning his face. Not wanting to be left behind, the redhead begin to move up and down in slow motion.

"But of course, I can help you!". A grin was the last thing the blond man saw, before his mind was turn in mush as the redhead eagerly bounced even harder.

It was going to be a long night…

* * *

Within another swirl-like void, Obito came into view – followed by a giggling bundle of joy in arms. Grasping his head, a laughed echo throughout the clearing.

"This – (Chuckling) – has to be a joke! They're having sex! – (Chuckling) – _Sex!_ Just, what's wrong with this people?!".

* giggles *

"…I almost forgot about you… _almost_ ". Taking a step forward, a familiar giant skeleton came into view. "Mountain Graveyard…my home. Is beautiful isn't it?".

* giggles * – Naruto said in response as if he could understand him.

"Ah ~ you're so polite! Of course it's beautiful! There's even some legends dictating about a reactive meteor, that crush centuries ago – not that I can prove such legend…but oh well! You can't have everything you want".

* giggles *

"Perhaps…perhaps".

* giggles *

"Are you sure? I didn't have time to clean my house as I wasn't expecting any visits – not that I have any…".

* giggles *

"Ah ~ How can I say no to that face? Of course we can! But don't expect a warm welcoming. Oh! Before I forget…beware Zetsu. He's like a plant-like man, you know…half black and white…likes to eat…bugs, I guess".

* giggles *

"Now that I think of it…I've never seen Zetsu eat something before…interesting". Said an intrigued Obito as he walked inside his humble home.

* giggles *

"True, true…you know? I believe this the beginning of a beautiful friendship!".

More giggles followed pursuit as both man and child, disappear within the shadows.

* * *

 _ **Two Hours Later**_

* * *

At last…the Kyūbi was his.

"Come out, Kyūbi!".

Less than a second, the place was overshadowed by the massive size of one, if the not, the most powerful being of chakra in existence. Nine, long orange tails, lazily swung back and forth. Orange fur decorated the mighty fox as a pair of bloody crimson eyes, with three black tomeos shined, within the nonexistent light of darkness.

Tobi simply remained calm, seemingly not bothered by the massive killer intent radiating from the colossal, nine-tailed fox. Alas, nature wasn't in the same terms as him – at the very first moment, every single living life form, in the vicinity, ran as far away as possible as they sensed, a new predator within the food chain.

"Y-you…bastard!".

"Uzumaki shinobi's are amazing!". Turning around, his crimson eye amusingly traced her semi-naked frame as he boldly said, "You gave birth just recently, had sex for two hours straight and had a bijū extracted out of your body!…and you're _still_ able to move?! How does that even work?!".

Kushina simple glared and blushed in anger and embarrassment.

How did he know about the sex part?! Was he watching?! Did he masturbated while she and Minato were doing it?! Did he saw the part where she was being fucked in the ass?! Wait!…why did she feel so _hot_ at the last question?!

"Anyway…I should be leaving. I have a village to destroy…a Hokage to kill…ya know…the typical things we the _good guys_ always do".

"Y-you, a g-good guy?".

"Of course! After all, I was the one who tooked care of your son, while you had _fun_ with your _toy!_ By the way, can Naruto-kun come to my house for Christmas?".

"…".

"…".

"…huh?". It was the only response, Kushina could come up with.

This, this… _good guy_ , had witnessed her and Minato having sex. At some point, he killed Biwako-san, and Taji-san to kidnap Naruto and use him as leverage against her husband. Furthermore, he basically had the Kyūbi under his control and now, he was asking permission – scratch that, he was _inviting_ her son for Christmas!

"…so, is that a yes or a no?".

In the blink of an eye, a yellow blur shot forward from thin air. Tobi – or Madara Uchiha for friends – simply stood his ground as the yellow blur passed right through him. Turning around, he threw a roundhouse kick, sending the yellow blur crashing against the base of a tree – followed by an exaggerated explosion of some kind.

 _'Could this day get any more weirder'._ All rational thoughts were forgotten as the smokescreen revealed a semi-naked Yondaime Hokage, wearing a simple pair of yellow boxers, a pair of blue sandals and his trusty-old short-sleeved, long white haori over his semi-naked frame. _'It seems I spoke too soon'._

"Kushina! Are you alright?". Shouted the concern and semi-naked blond as his gaze never left the cloaked-masked man.

"D-do I look f-fine to y-you ttebane?!". It was short to a miracle, that she was still alive, for crying out loud! She had a bijū sucked out of her body like if it was nothing – and it surely didn't feel like _nothing_.

"…So…I'm going to take that as a no…". Said a saddened Obito/Tobi/Madara at not been able to greet Naruto for Christmas at his home.

Kushina simply sweat-dropped, already had forgotten about Tobi's ridiculous request. Minato response was a raised eyebrow in confusion as Tobi suddenly became depressed over something.

"…yeah…what did I miss?".

"Not t-that much…Tobi is a-an Uchiha…with Sharingan a-and all…plans to d-destroy the v-village, using the Kyūbi".

"Oh…".

"Not that I want to interrupt or anything…but if you excuse me, I have a village to destroy". And with that, Obito disappeared once again, in a swirling-like void. Kyūbi simply puffed out of existence, leaving a massive smokescreen on it's awake.

"…why are you dressed like that?".

"…".

"…they were destroyed in that exaggerated explosion".

"…weird…those clothes are made of high resistant material. They should have withstand an explosion like that, with easy".

"I know right".

A small silence suddenly reigned as they stood awkwardly doing nothing.

"Shouldn't we stop the mask man from destroying Konoha?". Asked a less tired Uzumaki, with a hint of awkwardness in her tone.

"…yeah…I think we should".

"…".

"…isn't this the part were you Hiraishin us back to Naruto, to see if he's okay".

"…you're so helpless".

"…".

"…but at least, _I'm_ the helpless man, that fucked you into an orgasmic coma!".

"…I hate you".

"I love you too!".

* * *

"It's—".

 _Roar!_

"–Kyūbi!".

Taking that is it's cue, the mighty being of chakra threw a massive roar, throughout the village. It's tails swung here and there, killing the most unlucky citizens of Konohagakure no Satō.

 _"Oh?! What's this?"_. Looking at the base of his own feet, a very familiar book laid innocently atop of the mighty bijū.

 _Icha Icha Paradise_

Lifting the book from the ground and opening the book in a random page, a blush begin to creep his hidden face. What the hell was this, this…

… _masterpiece_ , doing on the floor, when it should be lying atop of one of the best cushion of the element nation!

 _"Yuna-chan please…I'm so s-sorry!". Falling to his knees, Yuna was taken back by the genuine raw emotion, radiating from the bowing man._

 _"I-I can! Y-you promised…you promised me, you w-wouldn't do it again!"._ _A slap rang across the room as an angry hand print, laid on one of his cheeks._

 _"Y-Yuna,_ _I-I—". The man was suddenly silence by_ _a passionate kiss_ _– courtesy of the now sobbing black-hair women._

 _"I-Idiot! Just k-kiss me!"._

 _Doing as instructed, Haruko returned the kiss with the same passion and vigor as Yuna. Slowly his hands begin to wonder from her back to her waist and even lower. Yuna simply moaned in the kiss as she had a pretty good idea, where does hands were going to end._

 _"Y-yes! More!"_

 _A gasp, suddenly escaped his mouth as a slender and soft hand, traveled within the confines of his pants. Grasping his tool, Yuna couldn't help but to moan, at the hardness of his cock._

 _"Y-Yuna-chan!". Groaned the man in pleasure as her hand begin to slid up and down, with a tight grip – almost making sure it didn't escape away from her hand._

 _They kept kissing heavily as their hands explored, the unexplored parts of their bodies. Grunts and moans echo throughout the small room._

 _Moving from her now swollen lips to her neck – living a trail as he did so – Yuna simply moaned and moaned, not caring in the slightest if they were caught._

 _"P-please! D-don't tease m-me! I'm ready for you!". Although, she was a moaning mess, she could practically feel his smirk on her neck as he kept sucking her collarbone._

 _"Only…if…you…—_

"My book! Where's my book, my precious!".

Looking between the book, and the direction of the scream, a new fire regrew within the Sharingan user, a fire that had died long ago.

 _'You had your chance, Kakashi…but, alas, this book is now mine! After all, I need to know what happens, with Yuna and Haruko'._

His attention was suddenly brought upon the Hokage Monument, where a very familiar shinobi came into view – fortunately this time, he was dressed in his signature attire, pants and all.

 _Roar!_

"Now is my turn, Minato-sensei". Disappearing within another swirling-like void, a pervert giggle followed pursuit as he thought, _'I can wait to know what happens! Bless you Jiraiya-sama! Bless you!'._

* * *

As Obito had expected, from the 4th Hokage. His speed was unrivaled, only second to his Kamui technique. His intelligence was outstanding, a trait only seen once, every one-hundred years.

"My name is…Madara Uchiha". And as Obito had predicted, he didn't buy his bullshit – if his laughter wasn't any indication.

"Yeah – (Laughing) – right! And I'm Hashirama Senju! But hey! I'm not going around, announcing my name like a lunatic".

"Believe it or not, it doesn't matter. I'm Madara Uchiha and I don't need your approval. Now…shall we dance?".

Disappearing in a flash of yellow, Madara/Obito was surprised when the Hokage reappeared next to the unexpected Hiraishin kunai, lying innocently behind him.

Turning around, Obito slightly tooked a step back in surprised as the Hokage thrust his right hand forward, holding a very familiar blue sphere.

"Rasengan!".

 _'Oh dear…this is going to—'._ All thoughts were forgotten as one of the Five Kages…tripped…with his own kunai. Landing face forward, with his hand stretched and still holding the blue sphere – Obito could only sweat-drop in disbelief. _'…okay…what the hell was that?!'._

"Oh ~ My face…it hurts!".

 _Grrr!_

Looking at the blue sphere, Madara/Obito begin to slowly back away from say _sphere_ as it became unstable. _'This day, probably has to be one, if not, the most weirdest days of all times'._

If Obito hadn't been too occupied with the _time bomb_ , he would've witnessed an alien aircraft land just above the treeline. Where they proceed to throw some weird black substance, before disappearing in a lighting speed.

 _Boom!_

* * *

To say Minato lived a good life, was understandable. After the fight against Madara, he was forced to fight against the nine-tailed fox.

Which, ended with him, and Kushina stabbed by one of it's nails from behind. At least in this position, he could grope Kushina's round and tight ass.

Ah, how much would he miss this ass! Why did he had to die?!

"I'm so s-sorry…Naruto…but, I-I'll need t-to seal the…K-Kyūbi in y-you".

* giggles *

"G-glad to hear t-that".

* giggles *

"Of c-course! – Ouch! – t-the seal is…quite _s-special_ , i-if ya k-know what I-I mean".

* giggles *

"T-that's great! – Ouch, again – You're…b-becoming just l-like…your o-old man—".

"A-and me, ttebane! – Ow! ".

* giggles *

"—make u-us proud…Fūin!".

Unknown to the world, a pervert was born on October 10th, a child with the stamina, the power and a will of steel, to achieve what no other man had ever accomplish.

Naruto Uzumaki, the God of Perverts had arrive and no one, not even the most willed women, would be able to resist his perverseness.

After all…it was a promise.

* * *

 _ **P/S:**_ _Well, what do you think? This story suddenly came up to my mind, after reading some Naruto-pervert fics :v_

 _I know it's not that original and short, but…I write what I think. Obito and the others may have looked out of character, but I give a shit, it's my story._

 _And yeah, Obito can somehow understand baby language._

 _Although, I wonder…what does Zetsu_ _ **really**_ _eat? I've read fic where Zetsu eats human or meat of any kind, or in some cases, some weird green substance. So, I'll restate, what does it eat – as "it", because Zetsu doesn't have a gender to begin with._

* * *

 _ **Questions:**_

 _ **1**_ _\- Will Obito ever know what happen, with Yuna and Haruko?_

 _ **2**_ _\- Will Naruto and Obito celebrate Christmas on Mountain Graveyard?_

 _ **3**_ _\- What did Minato meant by, "special seal"?_

 _ **4**_ _\- Why were Kushina and Minato fucking like rabbits at the start?_

 _ **5**_ _\- What did the stupid author meant by, "God of Perverts"?_

 _ **6**_ _\- What does Zetsu eat?_

 _ **7**_ _\- Why am I asking stupid questions, when I already know the answers for the last five questions?_

 _ **8**_ _\- Why am I still asking?_


End file.
